"Should" Statements

"Should" statements are rigid rules you impose on yourself and others about how things ought to be.

Examples: "I should always be confident." "I shouldn't feel anxious." "People should be more considerate." "I should be further along in life by now."

When directed at yourself, "should" statements create guilt and shame. When directed at others, they create frustration and resentment.

Either way, they measure reality against an idealised standard — and reality always falls short.