Overcoming Avoidance
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy
Avoidance is one of the most powerful ways anxiety maintains itself. When we avoid what frightens us, we get short-term relief — but at a long-term cost. This worksheet helps you understand your own cycle of avoidance, examine what it is really costing you, and use the FACE framework to begin approaching what you have been avoiding.
⚠️ Anxiety
A situation triggers an anxious response:
- Thoughts: fixation on worst-case scenarios, doubts about ability to cope
- Physical: shallow breathing, racing heart, shaking, sweating
- Feelings: dread, irritability, restlessness
🚪 Avoidance
You avoid the trigger to escape the uncomfortable symptoms:
- You cancel a holiday due to fear of flying
- You use alcohol to "loosen up" before socialising
- You procrastinate on an important task
📈 Intensification
You associate avoidance with feeling better, so next time anxiety is worse and avoidance even more tempting:
- You give up on ever taking a holiday
- You use more alcohol to socialise
- You start doing poorly at work due to rushed projects
☁️ Relief
Avoidance lessens the discomfort — but the relief is temporary and comes at a cost:
- You miss out on your dream holiday
- You come to rely on alcohol to socialise
- You have to rush an important task due to procrastinating
How to Use This Worksheet
This worksheet has three parts. Start by mapping your own cycle of avoidance. Then examine the real costs of your avoidance strategies. Finally, use the FACE framework to plan how to begin approaching what you have been avoiding.
1
Map Your Cycle of Avoidance
Identify your specific anxiety trigger and trace how it moves through the four stages: anxiety response, avoidance, temporary relief, and intensification over time. Seeing the cycle clearly is the first step to breaking it.
2
Examine the Costs
List every strategy you have ever used to avoid or escape unpleasant thoughts and feelings — distraction, opting out, thinking strategies, substances, and anything else. Then ask yourself honestly: did these strategies work long term? What did they cost you?
F
Find Your Target
Identify what you would like to be able to FACE, rather than avoid. Write a list of targets, then choose one that is not too distressing to start with. Work gradually from least to most distressing.
A
Action Planning
Decide on the steps you need to take. Break the goal down into manageable steps — like rungs on a ladder — and take them one at a time, starting at the bottom.
C
Coping Strategies
Write down all your coping strategies and identify which will be most useful for this situation. Having these prepared in advance means you are less likely to fall back on avoidance when anxiety rises.
E
Evaluate
After attempting each step, review how it went. What went well? What didn't? What would you do differently next time? Then decide whether to repeat the step or move up to the next one.
💡 Remember: The goal is not to eliminate anxiety — it is to stop letting anxiety dictate what you do and don't do. Each time you approach rather than avoid, you teach your brain that the situation is survivable and that you are capable of coping.
My Overcoming Avoidance Worksheet
Complete This Section
Work through all three parts in order. Be honest and specific — the more clearly you can see your own patterns, the more effectively you can change them.
Part 1: My Cycle of Avoidance
My Anxiety Trigger
My Anxiety Response, Avoidance, Relief & Intensification
Map out how your cycle of avoidance plays out across all four stages.
⚠️ Anxiety Response
🚪 How I Avoid
📈 How It Makes Things Worse
☁️ Temporary Relief & Real Cost
Part 2: The Costs of Avoidance
Complete These Sentences
Take a moment to identify what you most want to escape from.
The thoughts I'd most like to get rid of are:
The feelings I'd most like to get rid of are:
The sensations I'd most like to get rid of are:
The memories I'd most like to get rid of are:
My Avoidance Strategies Inventory
Write a list of everything you have ever tried in order to avoid or get rid of these unpleasant thoughts, feelings, sensations, or memories — whether deliberately or by default.
Reviewing the Costs
Go through your list above and for each item, ask yourself:
- Did this get rid of my painful thoughts and feelings in the long term?
- Did it bring me closer to a rich, full, and meaningful life?
- If the answer to question 2 is "no" — what did this cost me in terms of time, energy, money, health, relationships, and vitality?
Part 3: FACE My Avoidance
F
Find Your Target
Identify what you would like to be able to FACE, rather than avoid
Write a list of situations you would like to be able to face. Then choose one to start with that is not too distressing. Work gradually from least to most distressing.
A
Action — My Step-by-Step Plan
Break it down into manageable steps, starting at the bottom and working up
Break your goal down into manageable steps — like rungs on a ladder. Take one step at a time, starting with the least challenging at the bottom and working towards the most challenging at the top.
C
Coping — My Strategies
Identify and prepare the coping strategies you will use
Write down all your coping strategies and identify which will be most useful for this situation. Having these ready means you are less likely to fall back on avoidance when anxiety rises.
E
Evaluate — How Did It Go?
After taking your steps, review what happened
After you have attempted your steps, review how it went. What went well? What didn't go so well? What would you do differently next time? Then decide whether to repeat this step or move up to the next one.
🌿 Remember: Every time you approach rather than avoid, you are doing something genuinely courageous. The discomfort you feel during approach is not a sign that something is wrong — it is a sign that learning is happening. Over time, approach gets easier and avoidance loses its grip.
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Understand Procrastination.